I spent Sunday afternoon at the Frugal Festival. Lots of people there were interested in talking about ways to stop wasting money.
To be frank, I surprised myself by having more fun than I thought I would. I met some great people there. Seems like frugal is cool, and I was delighted to be part of it.
The organizer asked me to give free, 15-minute coaching sessions – which I did. I value those consultations at about $62.50 since my hourly rate is $250.
The last person who took me up on my offer was a very sweet woman in her mid-thirties. She said that she and her husband were struggling with debt and told me, “I want to make more money.” She spent a few more minutes explaining more about her situation. When she finished, I was ready to start giving her some ideas that I thought she could use to improve her situation.
But just as I started to give her my ideas, she lost all interest in our conversation.
The time had come for the raffle prizes to be awarded, and she wanted to make sure that she’d hear her name if it were called. Keep in mind that the prizes being awarded were T-shirts.
Granted…they were nice T-shirts…but they were T-shirts.
I don’t know about you, but I have enough T-shirts. In fact, I have too many T-shirts. Don’t you? Had she asked me for a T-shirt, I would have given her one. It might be a used one, but who cares? I wouldn’t give her one with holes in it…
Back to my story.
I’m not saying that I had the magic pill that would turn her situation around overnight. But she had a chance to get some experienced input and she blew it. Maybe my advice would have been dribble and she sensed it. Maybe that’s why the T-shirt raffle lured her away.
But she could have been wrong. Just maybe, I might have said something that could have had a significantly positive impact on her and her family. She asked me about her old 401k. Maybe I would have told her something important about that. You never know. And now she never will.
I know that we were at a frugal festival. I don’t have any problem with folks looking for freebies. That’s what everyone was there for. The problem I had is that she had a very valuable freebie in her hand, and she threw it away. It was a poor economic decision. Oh, and by the way, she didn’t win the T-shirt.
I didn’t say anything to this person. I just picked up my books and went home to spend some time writing this post. I couldn’t help her, but that exchange made me look at my own behavior.
Do I pay attention to the price I pay on my quest for frugal nirvana?
Am I picking up pennies and ignoring the dollars? Unfortunately, yes. I do this too sometimes. So I’m thankful for that lady who preferred a T-Shirt over my 15-minute session. I learned a lot from her.
I am just sorry that she didn’t win the raffle.
How would you have handled this situation? Would you have been angry at her? Would you have given her a piece of your mind? Do you sometimes make the same mistake she did? Am I an ego maniac for thinking she blew it? Should I just have explained the virtues of couponing and explained what Groupon is to her and moved on?
Shirley Docken says
July 31, 2009 at 7:34 AMI’m a half glass full person, Neal, so you just planted a tiny seed….about financial awareness…that will probably take root sometime in the future…either in the woman talking with friends and family which may result in seeking additional financial information from a professional in the future. You gave her the amount she could tolerate at that time. I think you expected too much out of her for your first contact in that milieu. You were fine. You did your job.
Best regards,
Shirley
Neal Frankle says
July 31, 2009 at 7:40 AMShirley,
Yep….you are right. Thanks. I may have expected too much….
Neal says
July 28, 2009 at 11:52 AMlol……
Kristen@TheFrugalGirl says
July 28, 2009 at 10:00 AMHmmm, that does seem like a not-so-great choice! Penny-wise, pound-foolish.
On a side note, I wish I was smart enough to be able to command $250/hour. lol
Beth says
July 28, 2009 at 8:47 AMActually, I was thinking about this issue from a different angle. Perhaps the raffle was an easy way out, but she essentially made a value decision here. Acquiring more “stuff” she didn’t need was more urgent and important than working on her financial situation. It’s still giving in to instant gratification, even if the item is free.
I hope that recognizing her failure to take advantage of your expertise will be a wake-up call. In which case, the role you played in this scenario will have far more impact that anything you could have said 🙂
Neal says
July 28, 2009 at 8:35 AMCarece,
Wow….great metaphor. I learn so much from comments like yours and everyone else. I’m serious. Thanks!
Neal says
July 28, 2009 at 7:33 AMps. I fixed the title…thanks!
Neal says
July 28, 2009 at 7:33 AMBeth,
Serves me right for doing a final edit at 12 midnight.
I don’t think she should have felt embarrassed since she was the one who signed up for a free consultation. Nobody asked her to sit down w/me.
Your point about her possible fears of being sold something is a good one – and one that didn’t occur to me. I guess I’m naive.
Again, in this particular instance, I don’t think that was an issue since I didn’t ask her to come over and talk…she initiated it.
But I take your point. Thanks Beth.
Carece says
July 28, 2009 at 8:13 AMNeal,
No matter how you felt about it personally, your point is well taken. How often do we pass up the great for the good. The t-shirt vs. experience based advise is a great metaphor. We all to often want to wear the title on the outside but shun the work on the inside. No judgment here on my part regarding the woman, I’m talking about myself. 😉 Thanks for the post Neal. Have a great day. Keep up the great work of share hope in the midst of financial chaos.
Carece
Beth says
July 28, 2009 at 4:35 AMFirst of all, I don’t understand the title and the picture. How do coupons figure into this story? And since she wasn’t paying you for your time, how exactly did she lose $62.50?
I think in your position I would be frustrated too, but did it occur to you that she might have felt embarrassed about spilling all her financial failures? The raffle could have been a convenient “out” to avoid being judged by a total stranger.
All too often “free consultations” are just a chance for some expert to “wow” you with something you already know and they try to convince you to buy something to get more “expert advice”. I’m sure what you would have told her would have been very useful, but I think people have been burned so many times that they might distrust people who genuinely want to help.