It’s not difficult to get people to like you. Of course this has great rewards in itself. But if you shift a little bit of your energy towards this endeavor, you’ll be more successful in your career and/or business too. In order to get quality people to like you all you have to do is be willing to have some people dislike you. I know this sounds counter-intuitive at first blush but if you give me 3 minutes, I think you’ll see the logic of this and embrace it.
Lincoln Was Right
The first idea we need to discuss is your target audience. My theory is you are far better off knowing who you want to play with before you get into the sandbox. The best way to identify those people is to be loud and proud about who you really are. If that means some people won’t want to have a play date with you, so be it.
President Lincoln once said that you can’t fool all the people all of the time. He was right. If you try to make everyone go “gaga” over you, you’re going to turn most people off. People aren’t stupid. They can spot insincerity a mile away. They’ll see that you are putting on a show and nobody is going to want to get near you. This alienates the really quality people you want to be around unnecessarily.
If you show your true colors, it’s going to resonate with some people. Not everyone is going to like what they see as I said. But some people will be more interested than they otherwise would be. Those are the people who matter. And that’s why you have to be willing to alienate some people in order to get the people who make a difference to become your fans.
I am not suggesting that you go out into the world without a filter. You need to be diplomatic of course. But when push comes to shove, stand up for what you believe in even if that means other people disagree with you. They’ll respect you for having a moral compass and as a result they’ll want you on their team – and they’ll want to do business with you.
Now That You Know Who You Want To Focus On Put Them First
I know I started this post by suggesting that you must be willing to alienate some people if you want to make the people that count like you. You do this because it’s an authentic way to live and because it helps you focus your time and energy on the people that make a difference. It’s simply too much work to try to make everyone happy. You’ll never be able to do it, it’s inauthentic and people see through it.
But now that you have identified the people that you want in your universe and put them first. Napoleon Hill* revealed that the real secret to success is to help others get what they want before you worry about your own needs. Apply that principle with the people that matter.
Think about it. If someone helps you get what you want, don’t you like them? Don’t you want to be around them? Don’t you want to do business with them? Of course you do. It therefore follows that if you want to be the first one people think of when they want to do business, spend your energy solving problems for others. Then sit back and watch how wealthy you become.
How This Will Make You Wealthy
As I said, living an authentic life is a huge reward in and of itself. It’s not easy to do and it’s impossible to do all the time (at least for me) but it’s worth striving for. I feel the same way about focusing on others first. Just the act is reward enough.
But as a side benefit (and it can’t be the main focus of this exercise) authentic people who serve others are often wildly successful. There are so few people who have these traits. Those that do are in demand – big time. As a result, they can write their own ticket. People will clamor to do business with you because it’s in their best interest to do so and they know it. If you work for someone else, it’s a great way to pile up raises one after the other.
If you want to get other people to like you, first get the people who you don’t need in your life out of the way. The best way to do that is to be authentic. The people who are attracted to the person you really are will raise their hands. Once they do, focus all your efforts towards helping them achieve their goals. Not only will they like you, they’ll like doing business with you….and they’ll do so.
Are there other ways to get people to like you? What are they? Is this pure manipulation or is it OK to mindfully take action to get others interested in you?