When I was growing up, I couldn’t stand Mother’s Day. I really couldn’t. I didn’t like it ever since my mom passed away (I was in high school at the time). You can read my story to learn more.
I was jealous of course…but mostly…just sad. Later on, when I got married and we had children, I grew to enjoy the holiday a bit. I loved seeing my kids have a mother to celebrate with. But still…there was something painful about the holiday. That pain lasted a long time…
I thought about this recently because some of my friends have lost their mothers over the last year. I felt terrible for them.
I didn’t want them to feel that lonely pain I grew up with. I wanted to help somehow. I wanted to give them…I don’t know…a hug? Some hope? A forum to talk about their feelings?
Let me just tell you that I still miss my mother – even though it’s not as painful as it used to be. But I also understand now that she wasn’t my only mother. Over the course of the last 36 years, there have been many “moms” who have stepped up to the plate.
I’m super grateful to those ladies and I’ll be celebrating them and my mother this Sunday – just like my mom would have wanted me to do.
So for me…it’s not Mother’s Day. It’s Mothers’ Day.
If your mother is gone, can you celebrate Mother’s Day? How?
Chantelle C. says
May 11, 2012 at 11:32 AMmy mother passed away when I was 8-years old im 23 and it still bothers me its hard for me to go to the cemetary but I want my son to know where his grandmother and great-grandmother are when he gets a little older he’s only 2 now maybe when he gets to a age where he would understand
jacqjolie says
May 19, 2010 at 10:08 AMHey Neal,
I didn’t know that your mother had passed away as well as mine – it’s been 21 years for me.
I really found it helpful and kind of cathartic to write a post about mine – I’m trying to focus my site, so I’m thinking of taking it down, but I’ll link it here for you so you can see the links I’ve got to writing a mom letter when your mom isn’t here.
I think what’s difficult about losing a parent at the stage in life that you or I did is that you know them, but don’t really see them with an adult’s eyes. I miss the opportunity to have her as a friend and not just a mom, I guess.
Anyway, here’s my post:
http://www.singlemomrichmom.com/2010/05/thank-you-to-mom-who-lives-only-in.html
Thisiswhyubroke! says
May 9, 2010 at 10:26 AMGreat post! Yes you can because she would have wanted you too!
“Because ridicule is the most effective form of education”
Nunzio Bruno says
May 8, 2010 at 9:49 AMVery appropriate post 🙂 I have very close friends that are in a similar situation, having lost their mothers or both parents and holidays we like this we make sure to scoop them up and take them over to our house. I am luck to have a mother who is a Mom’s mom and that everyone she meets she treats just like my brothers and I. Great links too!
Financial Samurai says
May 7, 2010 at 10:23 PMIt’s good to always have your mother in spirit Neal.
All the best!
Ryan says
May 7, 2010 at 3:00 PMVery touching, Neal.
Sandy L says
May 7, 2010 at 11:45 AMWhat a beautiful post.
kt says
May 7, 2010 at 9:26 AMyes you can. Just the remembrance of her memory is probably a gift enough. If you are married you can celebrate mother’s day with the mother of your children
Forest says
May 7, 2010 at 6:44 AMMy mother left us when we was 12 and moved about 300 miles away…. That meant I hardly saw her so even though she was there I was a little upset on this day….
Moving forward it’s different as I am an adult as I am detached from all my family but there are many mums throughout the years who have helped me and I give thanks to them every year some directly some just in my thoughts.
Olivia says
May 7, 2010 at 2:14 AMThanks for your insights. My husband lost his mom when he was 18. My own mom kind of mentally checked out when I was about 5. Now we’re responsible for her care. You’re right. Other moms have come to the fore. Like the lady at church who showed me how to make pie crust. Sounds small, but it meant alot.
Neal Frankle says
May 7, 2010 at 6:23 AMOlivia…you are so right. That lady at church sounds like an angel. Maybe in disguise…but an angel.