Comments on: Would You Get Along Better with Your Spouse if You Made More Money?

By: Monevator

Monevator — Wed, 12 May 2010 19:46:11 +0000

Hi Neal!

This is surely like the happiness and salary observation – that earning above a certain relatively low threshold doesn’t actually make you any happier.

I think if money is very tight, it’s the source of all the problems in the world. But once you’re vaguely comfortable, I wouldn’t look there for extra harmony.

By: Neal@Wealth Pilgrim

Neal@Wealth Pilgrim — Sun, 09 May 2010 21:47:31 +0000

First, congratulations on pulling things together from such a tough situation.

I like that you and your husband balance each other out. My wife and I do the same for each other. It’s nice.

By: Olivia

Olivia — Fri, 07 May 2010 10:29:24 +0000

We see our finances as just one more thing to work through together. This may be counterintuitive, but I thing our tight finances have improved our teamwork and our communication. If we had been comfortably well off we’d have had to talk and strategize less. He’s have his money to blow, and I’d have mine. Without that luxury we’ve found other ways to have fun and make it all work.

By: Abigail

Abigail — Fri, 07 May 2010 03:36:38 +0000

By and large, I suppose the answer would be no.

But.

We were living in Seattle. My husband was on unemployment, I was on disability and earning $900 a month in a very part-time job. Meanwhile, our rent was $700 for a one-bedroom apartment, my husband’s insurance was $502 a month. So 1/3 of our income was out the door by the third of the month.

Meanwhile, we had debt because of medical conditions and not being able to work full-time like healthy people.

Add to that the fact that my husband is ADHD, thus has impulsivity problems/problems thinking purchases through, and money was a huge issue.

We moved to Phoenix, where his health has been better and our costs are lower. I’ve become more relaxed — I get VERY uptight about debt and unnecessary spending — as we get closer to clearing our debt.

While my husband is still trying to secure a job, I recently found a real, full-time job I can do. From home.

So, until my contract work runs out — potentially next month — my work is bringing in more than we made from disability, unemployment and contract work combined. And, I’m far more relaxed about spending more than when someone is prying money out of my death-grip on it.

That said, this does go to the issue of being on the same page financially. My husband grew up in an area where people believed there’d never be enough and so you might as well enjoy it while you have it. Which is a wonderfully self-fulfilling prophecy.

I grew up being told to save, save, save for the future, to the detriment of the present.

We’ve made big strides toward a middle ground. He reminds me to enjoy the here and now a bit. I remind him to be responsible for the future — because, by being responsible, we can have a good future.

It’s dicey at times, but it’s done us both a lot of good.

By: Thisiswhyubroke!

Thisiswhyubroke! — Fri, 07 May 2010 00:08:36 +0000

I agree Neal! While its true money arguments are one of the chief causes for divorce…that does not mean that all of those arguments are because there were low amounts of money being discussed. It simply means that they let money become the focal point in their relationship no matter how much each spouse made.

http://thisiswhyuBROKE.wordpress.com
“Because ridicule is the most effective form of education”