Comments on: Stop Fighting about Money Now http://wealthpilgrim.com/married-couples-fighting-how-do-you-deal-with-an-overly-frugal-spouse/ WealthPilgrim.com -No Money Worries. No Matter What. Wed, 23 May 2012 02:40:46 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Neal http://wealthpilgrim.com/married-couples-fighting-how-do-you-deal-with-an-overly-frugal-spouse/#comment-2086 Neal Tue, 22 Sep 2009 19:23:17 +0000 http://359499502#comment-2086 Roxy, I'd have to agree w/you on that. The question is, does Jim see this as a problem he's willing to work on? Roxy,

I’d have to agree w/you on that. The question is, does Jim see this as a problem he’s willing to work on?

]]> By: Roxy http://wealthpilgrim.com/married-couples-fighting-how-do-you-deal-with-an-overly-frugal-spouse/#comment-2083 Roxy Tue, 22 Sep 2009 18:19:02 +0000 http://359499502#comment-2083 why do people always run to a divorce? That's just lazy. Make your own money or see a counselor to help you find a compromise. Clearly Jim needs therapy! why do people always run to a divorce? That’s just lazy. Make your own money or see a counselor to help you find a compromise. Clearly Jim needs therapy!

]]> By: Neal@wealthpilgrim.com http://wealthpilgrim.com/married-couples-fighting-how-do-you-deal-with-an-overly-frugal-spouse/#comment-2079 Neal@wealthpilgrim.com Mon, 21 Sep 2009 21:33:33 +0000 http://359499502#comment-2079 Scott makes a good point. We do decide who we spend our time with and marry. Deb should look at that otherwise, even if she leaves, she'll end up with a similar problem. Sounds like therapy is the best course of action for this couple. Scott makes a good point.

We do decide who we spend our time with and marry. Deb should look at that otherwise, even if she leaves, she’ll end up with a similar problem.

Sounds like therapy is the best course of action for this couple.

]]> By: Scott http://wealthpilgrim.com/married-couples-fighting-how-do-you-deal-with-an-overly-frugal-spouse/#comment-2078 Scott Mon, 21 Sep 2009 20:29:12 +0000 http://359499502#comment-2078 Also keep in mind that this situation was probably exactly the same even before they got married too. She entered the marriage knowing that he was like this, and so she should have no expectation that he's going to change after marriage. A leopard can't change its spots, and all that. But that being said, spouses need to work together, have a common goal, and that dictates how the house money gets spent. It's not "his money" and "her money" any more - it is their money. She shouldn't be expecting 3 vacations a year, but she should expect to have some vote in how money is spent. If it's important to her, it should be important to him. They should have worked this out in marriage counselling before getting married. Also keep in mind that this situation was probably exactly the same even before they got married too. She entered the marriage knowing that he was like this, and so she should have no expectation that he’s going to change after marriage. A leopard can’t change its spots, and all that.

But that being said, spouses need to work together, have a common goal, and that dictates how the house money gets spent. It’s not “his money” and “her money” any more – it is their money.

She shouldn’t be expecting 3 vacations a year, but she should expect to have some vote in how money is spent. If it’s important to her, it should be important to him. They should have worked this out in marriage counselling before getting married.

]]> By: Loretta http://wealthpilgrim.com/married-couples-fighting-how-do-you-deal-with-an-overly-frugal-spouse/#comment-2077 Loretta Mon, 21 Sep 2009 17:13:52 +0000 http://359499502#comment-2077 Having been in Debby's situation, I can relate. My husband made the bulk of our money and never wanted to enjoy it. You had to light a bomb under him to get him to go on vacation or buy a new sofa. I made money too, but I wanted to share good times and the fruits of our labors with him because I loved him. He was incapable of doing that. We eventually divorced. Having been in Debby’s situation, I can relate. My husband made the bulk of our money and never wanted to enjoy it. You had to light a bomb under him to get him to go on vacation or buy a new sofa. I made money too, but I wanted to share good times and the fruits of our labors with him because I loved him. He was incapable of doing that. We eventually divorced.

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