Comments on: Lending Money to Friends and Family without Ending the Relationship http://wealthpilgrim.com/is-it-possible-to-lend-money-to-someone-without-ending-the-relationship/ WealthPilgrim.com -No Money Worries. No Matter What. Wed, 30 May 2012 00:03:08 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Neal Frankle http://wealthpilgrim.com/is-it-possible-to-lend-money-to-someone-without-ending-the-relationship/#comment-38357 Neal Frankle Thu, 26 Apr 2012 05:48:32 +0000 http://wealthpilgrim.com/?p=2631#comment-38357 What is your specific question? What is your specific question?

]]> By: Deanna http://wealthpilgrim.com/is-it-possible-to-lend-money-to-someone-without-ending-the-relationship/#comment-38353 Deanna Thu, 26 Apr 2012 00:25:56 +0000 http://wealthpilgrim.com/?p=2631#comment-38353 I see this is a very old post, but I just found it while doing a web search. I am a financially stable, single woman, age 38, with excellent credit, who made a recent decision to loan a man a signficant amount of money. I am very concerned at how distant our friendship/relationship has become and would love any honest advice!!! (I dated this man for five months before I offered this.) I've been teaching for fifteen years, give a portion of each paycheck to a 403B, don't have any credit card debt, and own a home. I also bring in regular income from a part-time waitressing job, free-lance musician gigs and clinician work in my field (leading workshops, etc.) If I didn't trust him and he wasn't special to me, I would never have considered or offered this (yes, it was my idea). I didn't have any money saved to loan him, but I was able to help him pay off a very high interest loan of his, by moving the debt onto a credit card of mine, that had a 0% offer. When the offer was up, I moved the debt to a loan on my 403B that has a very low interest rate. I set up free paypal accounts for both of us, so he simply sends me a payment through paypal online each month. He doesn't have access to any of my accounts. I make all my payments myself & he simply sends me a payment each month online, so we never have to discuss it. I knew I would be fine financially even if something happened and he never paid me, so I offered to do this to help him raise his low credit score. (He was not as blessed to have parents like I did, that helped me establish credit.) He has paid me every month & I send him an updated spreadsheet/receipt/invoice each month. I am just very sad because I had NO idea that this would result in such distance between us. At first, he was shocked I offered & it was very awkward for me to discuss at first, but we agreed that this would need to be like a "business transaction." He agreed that it was awkward to talk about, but said, "I just don't want it to compromise us hanging out." Well, it has. Our loan began seven months ago & we haven't "hung out" in six months. This saddens me. I told myself that if I really cared about him as a person & for his well-being, than I can't let any personal thoughts (what he thinks of me as a possible partner, etc.) affect my decision is doing what I think is best for him. I fully understand that God's in control, but I would love to know if there's anything I can do to help him feel better about this and just forget that this payment he makes online has anything to do with me as a person/friend. I would very much appreciate any insight or advice. I see this is a very old post, but I just found it while doing a web search. I am a financially stable, single woman, age 38, with excellent credit, who made a recent decision to loan a man a signficant amount of money. I am very concerned at how distant our friendship/relationship has become and would love any honest advice!!! (I dated this man for five months before I offered this.) I’ve been teaching for fifteen years, give a portion of each paycheck to a 403B, don’t have any credit card debt, and own a home. I also bring in regular income from a part-time waitressing job, free-lance musician gigs and clinician work in my field (leading workshops, etc.) If I didn’t trust him and he wasn’t special to me, I would never have considered or offered this (yes, it was my idea). I didn’t have any money saved to loan him, but I was able to help him pay off a very high interest loan of his, by moving the debt onto a credit card of mine, that had a 0% offer. When the offer was up, I moved the debt to a loan on my 403B that has a very low interest rate. I set up free paypal accounts for both of us, so he simply sends me a payment through paypal online each month. He doesn’t have access to any of my accounts. I make all my payments myself & he simply sends me a payment each month online, so we never have to discuss it. I knew I would be fine financially even if something happened and he never paid me, so I offered to do this to help him raise his low credit score. (He was not as blessed to have parents like I did, that helped me establish credit.) He has paid me every month & I send him an updated spreadsheet/receipt/invoice each month. I am just very sad because I had NO idea that this would result in such distance between us. At first, he was shocked I offered & it was very awkward for me to discuss at first, but we agreed that this would need to be like a “business transaction.” He agreed that it was awkward to talk about, but said, “I just don’t want it to compromise us hanging out.” Well, it has. Our loan began seven months ago & we haven’t “hung out” in six months. This saddens me. I told myself that if I really cared about him as a person & for his well-being, than I can’t let any personal thoughts (what he thinks of me as a possible partner, etc.) affect my decision is doing what I think is best for him. I fully understand that God’s in control, but I would love to know if there’s anything I can do to help him feel better about this and just forget that this payment he makes online has anything to do with me as a person/friend. I would very much appreciate any insight or advice.

]]> By: Geno http://wealthpilgrim.com/is-it-possible-to-lend-money-to-someone-without-ending-the-relationship/#comment-3621 Geno Fri, 05 Feb 2010 04:18:06 +0000 http://wealthpilgrim.com/?p=2631#comment-3621 Great post, sorry to hear about others negative, and some positive experiences. One of the most important aspects of borrowing and lending with friends and family is to protect the relationship. The easiest way to protect the relationship is to increase the likelihood of borrower repayment. The most successful way to accomplish this is by (1) ensuring both parties agree to the terms of the loan, (2) getting everything in writing, and (3) receiving assistance from a 3rd party. We've started www.LendFriend.me to meet this exact need, hopefully we can help you also. Great post, sorry to hear about others negative, and some positive experiences.

One of the most important aspects of borrowing and lending with friends and family is to protect the relationship.
The easiest way to protect the relationship is to increase the likelihood of borrower repayment.
The most successful way to accomplish this is by (1) ensuring both parties agree to the terms of the loan, (2) getting everything in writing, and (3) receiving assistance from a 3rd party.
We’ve started http://www.LendFriend.me to meet this exact need, hopefully we can help you also.

]]> By: Neal http://wealthpilgrim.com/is-it-possible-to-lend-money-to-someone-without-ending-the-relationship/#comment-1972 Neal Mon, 14 Sep 2009 15:11:37 +0000 http://wealthpilgrim.com/?p=2631#comment-1972 MTSC, How did you do it? What is your secret? I'm going over to check out your post right now. MTSC,

How did you do it? What is your secret? I’m going over to check out your post right now.

]]> By: aby Mathew http://wealthpilgrim.com/is-it-possible-to-lend-money-to-someone-without-ending-the-relationship/#comment-1100 aby Mathew Tue, 30 Jun 2009 13:53:43 +0000 http://wealthpilgrim.com/?p=2631#comment-1100 As the great Warren Buffet says " You should never give more than what you can afford to lose" " Never put all eggs in one basket" " Never test deep waters with both feet" " Nobody but YOU can manage YOUR money better than others, If you get 1000% returns on you money , just think yourself as an 'early bird' in a huge PONZI scheme" " There is nothing like free money, Even if you win a lottery of 100 billion $, you still have to buy the ticket" As the great Warren Buffet says

” You should never give more than what you can afford to lose”

” Never put all eggs in one basket”

” Never test deep waters with both feet”

” Nobody but YOU can manage YOUR money better than others,
If you get 1000% returns on you money , just think yourself as an ‘early bird’ in a huge PONZI scheme”

” There is nothing like free money, Even if you win a lottery of 100 billion $, you still have to buy the ticket”

]]>