Comments on: Lending Money to Friends and Family without Ending the Relationship http://wealthpilgrim.com/is-it-possible-to-lend-money-to-someone-without-ending-the-relationship/ WealthPilgrim.com - A Journey To Self, Health and Wealth Sat, 11 Feb 2012 14:42:35 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Geno http://wealthpilgrim.com/is-it-possible-to-lend-money-to-someone-without-ending-the-relationship/#comment-3621 Geno Fri, 05 Feb 2010 04:18:06 +0000 http://wealthpilgrim.com/?p=2631#comment-3621 Great post, sorry to hear about others negative, and some positive experiences. One of the most important aspects of borrowing and lending with friends and family is to protect the relationship. The easiest way to protect the relationship is to increase the likelihood of borrower repayment. The most successful way to accomplish this is by (1) ensuring both parties agree to the terms of the loan, (2) getting everything in writing, and (3) receiving assistance from a 3rd party. We've started www.LendFriend.me to meet this exact need, hopefully we can help you also. Great post, sorry to hear about others negative, and some positive experiences.

One of the most important aspects of borrowing and lending with friends and family is to protect the relationship.
The easiest way to protect the relationship is to increase the likelihood of borrower repayment.
The most successful way to accomplish this is by (1) ensuring both parties agree to the terms of the loan, (2) getting everything in writing, and (3) receiving assistance from a 3rd party.
We’ve started http://www.LendFriend.me to meet this exact need, hopefully we can help you also.

]]> By: Neal http://wealthpilgrim.com/is-it-possible-to-lend-money-to-someone-without-ending-the-relationship/#comment-1972 Neal Mon, 14 Sep 2009 15:11:37 +0000 http://wealthpilgrim.com/?p=2631#comment-1972 MTSC, How did you do it? What is your secret? I'm going over to check out your post right now. MTSC,

How did you do it? What is your secret? I’m going over to check out your post right now.

]]> By: aby Mathew http://wealthpilgrim.com/is-it-possible-to-lend-money-to-someone-without-ending-the-relationship/#comment-1100 aby Mathew Tue, 30 Jun 2009 13:53:43 +0000 http://wealthpilgrim.com/?p=2631#comment-1100 As the great Warren Buffet says " You should never give more than what you can afford to lose" " Never put all eggs in one basket" " Never test deep waters with both feet" " Nobody but YOU can manage YOUR money better than others, If you get 1000% returns on you money , just think yourself as an 'early bird' in a huge PONZI scheme" " There is nothing like free money, Even if you win a lottery of 100 billion $, you still have to buy the ticket" As the great Warren Buffet says

” You should never give more than what you can afford to lose”

” Never put all eggs in one basket”

” Never test deep waters with both feet”

” Nobody but YOU can manage YOUR money better than others,
If you get 1000% returns on you money , just think yourself as an ‘early bird’ in a huge PONZI scheme”

” There is nothing like free money, Even if you win a lottery of 100 billion $, you still have to buy the ticket”

]]> By: Bible Money Matters http://wealthpilgrim.com/is-it-possible-to-lend-money-to-someone-without-ending-the-relationship/#comment-1051 Bible Money Matters Tue, 23 Jun 2009 17:21:25 +0000 http://wealthpilgrim.com/?p=2631#comment-1051 I think when you lend money it automatically creates a power relationship - there's a bible verse that says the borrower is slave to the lender - and this is really true. When you borrow you are indebted to the person you have borrowed from, and the dynamics of the relationship change. It's better to give money as an outright gift, or not to lend at all. Personally, i don't lend to friends or family. If I do give them money, it'll be as a gift with on strings. I think when you lend money it automatically creates a power relationship – there’s a bible verse that says the borrower is slave to the lender – and this is really true. When you borrow you are indebted to the person you have borrowed from, and the dynamics of the relationship change. It’s better to give money as an outright gift, or not to lend at all. Personally, i don’t lend to friends or family. If I do give them money, it’ll be as a gift with on strings.

]]> By: Neal http://wealthpilgrim.com/is-it-possible-to-lend-money-to-someone-without-ending-the-relationship/#comment-1049 Neal Tue, 23 Jun 2009 15:19:00 +0000 http://wealthpilgrim.com/?p=2631#comment-1049 Evan, Your story is inspiring to me - probably a function of the way you approach your friends and it's admirable. I agree that friends are meant to help each other...but they are also meant to be honest and responsible to each other. Depending on the situation, I think the relationship could survive. In my case, I found out later that my friend had spent money supporting an addiction rather than his family or paying me back. That was it for me. Evan,

Your story is inspiring to me – probably a function of the way you approach your friends and it’s admirable.

I agree that friends are meant to help each other…but they are also meant to be honest and responsible to each other. Depending on the situation, I think the relationship could survive. In my case, I found out later that my friend had spent money supporting an addiction rather than his family or paying me back. That was it for me.

]]> By: Julio http://wealthpilgrim.com/is-it-possible-to-lend-money-to-someone-without-ending-the-relationship/#comment-1047 Julio Tue, 23 Jun 2009 14:50:04 +0000 http://wealthpilgrim.com/?p=2631#comment-1047 The “no loaning policy” is the way to go. Don’t think I would be able to mind my own business if I see the recipient of my loan squander it and that is not a position I would want to put myself into. The “no loaning policy” is the way to go. Don’t think I would be able to mind my own business if I see the recipient of my loan squander it and that is not a position I would want to put myself into.

]]> By: Evan http://wealthpilgrim.com/is-it-possible-to-lend-money-to-someone-without-ending-the-relationship/#comment-1039 Evan Tue, 23 Jun 2009 08:20:32 +0000 http://wealthpilgrim.com/?p=2631#comment-1039 Yep. I've loaned money and had it not repaid. The relationship survived. I guess it all comes down to the kind of relationship that it is. I find it sad that some relationships can't survive these kinds of things - but it doesn't help to pretend that they can if they can't. Friends are meant to help each other I think. I would like for money to not dictate to us the terms of our friendships. Unfortunately I think that sometimes it does. Yep. I’ve loaned money and had it not repaid. The relationship survived.

I guess it all comes down to the kind of relationship that it is. I find it sad that some relationships can’t survive these kinds of things – but it doesn’t help to pretend that they can if they can’t.

Friends are meant to help each other I think. I would like for money to not dictate to us the terms of our friendships. Unfortunately I think that sometimes it does.

]]> By: McLaughlin http://wealthpilgrim.com/is-it-possible-to-lend-money-to-someone-without-ending-the-relationship/#comment-1029 McLaughlin Mon, 22 Jun 2009 15:19:48 +0000 http://wealthpilgrim.com/?p=2631#comment-1029 Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend, And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry. This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man. William Shakespeare, "Hamlet", Act 1 scene 3 Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
William Shakespeare, “Hamlet”, Act 1 scene 3

]]> By: Neal http://wealthpilgrim.com/is-it-possible-to-lend-money-to-someone-without-ending-the-relationship/#comment-985 Neal Thu, 18 Jun 2009 14:10:58 +0000 http://wealthpilgrim.com/?p=2631#comment-985 Another excellent point I hadn't even considered. It seems like it's not the amount involved so much as the way the exchange is handled that creates the friction. Thanks M! Another excellent point I hadn’t even considered. It seems like it’s not the amount involved so much as the way the exchange is handled that creates the friction.

Thanks M!

]]> By: Monevator http://wealthpilgrim.com/is-it-possible-to-lend-money-to-someone-without-ending-the-relationship/#comment-982 Monevator Thu, 18 Jun 2009 10:11:19 +0000 http://wealthpilgrim.com/?p=2631#comment-982 Very true words. I've seen the same situation happen when I've got involved in minor business work for friends. Invoices that never got paid, and some sort of feeling that despite agreeing a fee and it being my daily occupation, it didn't need to be paid anyway. The sums involved were much less than yours, but the friendship still floundered on the rocks. I felt sort of used I guess. Very tricky territory. Very true words. I’ve seen the same situation happen when I’ve got involved in minor business work for friends. Invoices that never got paid, and some sort of feeling that despite agreeing a fee and it being my daily occupation, it didn’t need to be paid anyway.

The sums involved were much less than yours, but the friendship still floundered on the rocks. I felt sort of used I guess.

Very tricky territory.

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