Comments on: How to Have a Financial Life After Divorce http://wealthpilgrim.com/debt-cures-for-the-divorced-unemployed/ WealthPilgrim.com -No Money Worries. No Matter What. Mon, 21 May 2012 14:36:39 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Sameboat http://wealthpilgrim.com/debt-cures-for-the-divorced-unemployed/#comment-2060 Sameboat Mon, 21 Sep 2009 02:51:58 +0000 http://wealthpilgrim.com/?p=4038#comment-2060 I should say as I seek my life license that the company who is helping me with this is providing me and all applicants with financial education which is the primary reason I joined as I am working towards financial independence! I would recommend this for anyone in financial straits or single parents struggling financially. I am learning important financial aspects which will teach me to advise people how to reduce and cleaup debt, learn how to make your money grow and prepare for retirement. This is an excellent opportunity and has been a LARGE part of how I am making it through this positively as part of their program in training and daily is to provide positive and educational feedback - including daily text messages. I couldn't have done it without this group and know that because of the education that I learned from them and will continue to learn as I stay with them even after I get a full time job as I plan to do both, will assure that I do not fall behind financially again since the first thing I am going to do after getting a job is to start that emergency fund - :) I should say as I seek my life license that the company who is helping me with this is providing me and all applicants with financial education which is the primary reason I joined as I am working towards financial independence!

I would recommend this for anyone in financial straits or single parents struggling financially. I am learning important financial aspects which will teach me to advise people how to reduce and cleaup debt, learn how to make your money grow and prepare for retirement. This is an excellent opportunity and has been a LARGE part of how I am making it through this positively as part of their program in training and daily is to provide positive and educational feedback – including daily text messages. I couldn’t have done it without this group and know that because of the education that I learned from them and will continue to learn as I stay with them even after I get a full time job as I plan to do both, will assure that I do not fall behind financially again since the first thing I am going to do after getting a job is to start that emergency fund – :)

]]> By: Sameboat http://wealthpilgrim.com/debt-cures-for-the-divorced-unemployed/#comment-2059 Sameboat Mon, 21 Sep 2009 02:40:20 +0000 http://wealthpilgrim.com/?p=4038#comment-2059 I'm in the same boat!!! I was not an actor, I was a professional in the corporate world and lost my job in May, one month after I left my husband in April. I had saved money at the time, however, as my husband went in to depression - mind you we also lost our house due to short sale since it was in foreclosure, lost our cars-long story, I saw it coming, tried to work out resolution with my husband who did not cooperate and poof, all gone - everything! Communication regarding responsibilities was a big problem during our marriage as he ignored much responsibility thinking that bringing home a paycheck was enough - mind you that I worked an equally important job and was the one left troubleshooting bills, children, etc. As he went in to depression after I left, he often forgot to pay the few bills in his name as most were in my name since I was the bookeeper of hte house, with that said, his bills would be pulled from my account as did a joint personal loan. Regardless of me telling him this, he would not pay me back. On top of this, I found a mediator lawyer in hopes of making a peaceful divorce for the kids sake as well as splitting the cost, and this lawyer took his time regardless of my weekly followups causing more debts to be taken out of my account leaving me broke and 0 balance! We are both on unemployment and carless, my credit is in the 400's as his is nicely in the 600's since everything is in my name. As I raise our child, he provides a certain amount and then says he has no more and is moving like a turle to get a job while I have taken 10 technical tests, and working towards a life insurance license to supplement and apply for 20 jobs a day! I barely made rent this month and am afraid that I will not have rent next month. Thank God I have an interview Tuesday, but then my next concern is how to get a car with no cash and bad credit so that I can take my son to and from school as well as myself to and from work. I am staying positive as I had a nervous breakdown when I left but have forced myself to pull myself out of it as #1 I have no medical benefits, #2 my son needs someone to depend on since my husband goes thru periods of depression and drinking, #3 thru faith and positive thinking and networking, seeking help, I know that I will eventually make it out of this mess stronger and wiser! I agree with the lessons learned that you mentioned to a tee as I have thought about each and every one of those and am thankful that although I do not have financial assistance, I have a therapist who at times has not charged me, a priest who checks on me regularly to let me vent and pick me up again with faith and strength and few good friends who have done groceries for us a couple of times so that my son is fed. Believe me as after divorce, much less financial hardship, you find out who your friends are as many flee once they see those tears come from your face once too often! Good luck to both of us sounds like but it also sounds like that we are both caring and strong women who accept and acknowledge responsibility so I'm sure that once we pull out of this, success will be around the corner :) I’m in the same boat!!! I was not an actor, I was a professional in the corporate world and lost my job in May, one month after I left my husband in April. I had saved money at the time, however, as my husband went in to depression – mind you we also lost our house due to short sale since it was in foreclosure, lost our cars-long story, I saw it coming, tried to work out resolution with my husband who did not cooperate and poof, all gone – everything! Communication regarding responsibilities was a big problem during our marriage as he ignored much responsibility thinking that bringing home a paycheck was enough – mind you that I worked an equally important job and was the one left troubleshooting bills, children, etc. As he went in to depression after I left, he often forgot to pay the few bills in his name as most were in my name since I was the bookeeper of hte house, with that said, his bills would be pulled from my account as did a joint personal loan. Regardless of me telling him this, he would not pay me back. On top of this, I found a mediator lawyer in hopes of making a peaceful divorce for the kids sake as well as splitting the cost, and this lawyer took his time regardless of my weekly followups causing more debts to be taken out of my account leaving me broke and 0 balance! We are both on unemployment and carless, my credit is in the 400′s as his is nicely in the 600′s since everything is in my name. As I raise our child, he provides a certain amount and then says he has no more and is moving like a turle to get a job while I have taken 10 technical tests, and working towards a life insurance license to supplement and apply for 20 jobs a day! I barely made rent this month and am afraid that I will not have rent next month. Thank God I have an interview Tuesday, but then my next concern is how to get a car with no cash and bad credit so that I can take my son to and from school as well as myself to and from work.

I am staying positive as I had a nervous breakdown when I left but have forced myself to pull myself out of it as #1 I have no medical benefits, #2 my son needs someone to depend on since my husband goes thru periods of depression and drinking, #3 thru faith and positive thinking and networking, seeking help, I know that I will eventually make it out of this mess stronger and wiser!

I agree with the lessons learned that you mentioned to a tee as I have thought about each and every one of those and am thankful that although I do not have financial assistance, I have a therapist who at times has not charged me, a priest who checks on me regularly to let me vent and pick me up again with faith and strength and few good friends who have done groceries for us a couple of times so that my son is fed. Believe me as after divorce, much less financial hardship, you find out who your friends are as many flee once they see those tears come from your face once too often!

Good luck to both of us sounds like but it also sounds like that we are both caring and strong women who accept and acknowledge responsibility so I’m sure that once we pull out of this, success will be around the corner :)

]]> By: Neal http://wealthpilgrim.com/debt-cures-for-the-divorced-unemployed/#comment-1938 Neal Thu, 10 Sep 2009 18:18:43 +0000 http://wealthpilgrim.com/?p=4038#comment-1938 My J, Another zinger of course. You also have a very good idea there. I think it plays into the remarks left by Justin. Looks like everyone is focused on the "chillax" factor. Hey...are you all from California too? My J,

Another zinger of course. You also have a very good idea there. I think it plays into the remarks left by Justin. Looks like everyone is focused on the “chillax” factor. Hey…are you all from California too?

]]> By: Neal http://wealthpilgrim.com/debt-cures-for-the-divorced-unemployed/#comment-1937 Neal Thu, 10 Sep 2009 18:17:41 +0000 http://wealthpilgrim.com/?p=4038#comment-1937 Wow Justin....very insightful. (Why didn't I write that!) I agree that attitude really is everything. When I was younger, that seemed very trite but now I can see that coming from a "happy" and "strong" place really has a great deal with the outcome of most things. Well put. Wow Justin….very insightful. (Why didn’t I write that!)

I agree that attitude really is everything. When I was younger, that seemed very trite but now I can see that coming from a “happy” and “strong” place really has a great deal with the outcome of most things.

Well put.

]]> By: Justin http://wealthpilgrim.com/debt-cures-for-the-divorced-unemployed/#comment-1936 Justin Thu, 10 Sep 2009 16:42:08 +0000 http://wealthpilgrim.com/?p=4038#comment-1936 I would say step one is to find happiness. When you are happy and in a good mood, optimism goes up, confidence goes up, and then finding a job, a way to save, a way to pay off debt, and a way to turn what is otherwise a depressing situation into something to grow from. Everything is easier when you are happy. That said, i know from experience if you are in a relationship for a while, often your friends were and are friends of both you and your counterpart, so that makes it even harder to just go hang out and find happiness. However, it is possible; and should be the first priority. -Justin I would say step one is to find happiness. When you are happy and in a good mood, optimism goes up, confidence goes up, and then finding a job, a way to save, a way to pay off debt, and a way to turn what is otherwise a depressing situation into something to grow from. Everything is easier when you are happy.

That said, i know from experience if you are in a relationship for a while, often your friends were and are friends of both you and your counterpart, so that makes it even harder to just go hang out and find happiness. However, it is possible; and should be the first priority.

-Justin

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