While far from universally true, my experience tells me that between men and women, it’s the man who is usually the cheap SOB.
Is this really so?
I can only speak for myself of course but I’ll be the first to admit that you could consider me a cheap man.
(My middle daughter, while proof reading this post, was quick to confirm it so I suppose there is no room for doubt anymore.)
I don’t consider the label of being “cheap” all that bad to be frank. It’s almost a badge of honor in my opinion.
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Am I a Scrooge for bringing up weight loss on Christmas Day????? I hope you don’t think so. In fact, I hope you consider this a gift.
If you struggle with weight loss, it’s in the back of your mind right now. You think about it when you belly up to the turkey bar or dessert tray. I know it’s true because that’s what I go through.
Well I want you to enjoy today and the rest of the holiday season without worrying about food what-so-ever.
I stumbled on a free weight loss program a few weeks ago that’s really working. I know that even though it’s the holiday season, you can actually lose weight and enjoy it – starting right now.
I’m here to tell you that I’ve lost weight over the last several weeks and I’m confident that I’ll continue doing so. The key to my plan is to keep it very simple.
I’m pretty confident that I’ve found a very good system that I’ll be able to stick with going forward too – and that’s the most important part of it. I’d like to share my experience with you. My goal is to help you achieve a similar goal without you spending lots of time or money in the process.
OK….so like I said this is a very simple plan. It has three steps:
Step 1 – The Food.
No baked goods.
No sweets.
That’s it.
So I cut out bread and all other baked goods. I also cut out goodies. To you, this might seem like a no-brainer but this simple approach was what I needed.
I can’t go on a diet where I have to think about it all the time. In fact, I needed something I didn’t have to think about at all. I eat whenever I want to and I eat whatever I want – as long as it’s not a baked good or a goodie.
Please don’t tell me this is just a low-carb diet. If you do, then I’ll look for low-carb goodies and baked goods because I love to eat eat eat them all day long. If I open that door I’ll be in trouble in a snap. Before you know it, I’ll be down at the Dunkin’ Donuts chasing my blues away with a Bear Claw with a cinnamon bun chaser. In my particular case, I have to stop eating these things for good – one day at a time.
This was tough at first – but several weeks into this plan, I can tell you that it’s no big deal. For the first time in years, I’m actually optimistic that this is a plan I’ll stick with.
Disclaimer – I do allow myself a cup of hot chocolate. I just love chocolate and can’t see myself living without it forever. For me, it’s safer to drink it than eat it. If you’re like me, you might look for some kind of safe way to indulge. I’ve heard about diet cookies and that might be an alternative but I’ve never tried them so I can’t say.
STEP 2 – Be accountable when I blow it.
I have a buddy who is also trying to lose a few pounds. We text each other when we make a mistake – even a small one. I have written many times how important it is to have an accountability partner – at least for me.
By telling him when I’ve fallen off the wagon – which hasn’t been too often – it forces me to get back on the wagon rather than give up. I’m doing this one day at a time. I don’t care if I blew yesterday, today is all that counts.
STEP 3 – Exercise
I don’t know about you but I actually love to exercise so this isn’t tough at all. I do some cardio and weight training 4 times a week. I haven’t really changed anything in that area of my life.
So there you have it.
If you are tying to lose weight, find your own plan. I think the second are third steps are critical but you can come up with your own food plan. I personally needed something extremely simple and easy. This fits the bill so far.
I promise to keep you up to date with my progress in this area.
What have you done to successfully lose weight? Do you think that elements of this plan would work for you?
On to the weekend links:
This week, David at MoneyUnder30.com is awarded the Pilgrim Pick of the Pack Award for his fine piece on why recession are a good thing. He’s got moxy……and certainly worth the read.
On to the other picks of the week:
Let it breathe – a great post on being patient. Cash Money Life.
How to regift – a favorite topic around the Pilgrim Palace. Moolanomy.
The post argues that once you near or enter retirement, you’ll probably need to generate income from your investments. That’s true for some people. Ok. I’m not going to argue that.
Even if you have a great marriage, you can really improve your relationship (and finances) by talking about money – if you do it correctly.
In fact, no matter how great your relationship is, money inevitably comes between most couples. I don’t care how wonderfully you and your beloved get along – money separates you – even if only a little bit (at first). You may not be aware of it. You may not admit it. But money…….it’s a problem.
Let me go out on a limb a little further.
Even if you have great investments, plentiful income and no debt, it’s likely that you and your partner resent each other’s financial behaviors – even if only a tiny bit and even, as I said, if you aren’t aware of it.
Once again, my wife is off visiting our eldest daughter in Israel so I’m holding down the fort. It’s just me and my 10-year old and since she can’t reach the stove, kitchen duties fall to me.
I very rarely touch the business end of a pan or pot in our house so nobody expects me to discover the joys of cooking. But I have discovered one thing – Mac & Cheese saves lives and marriages. If you have ever been suddenly thrust into the position of chief operating manager of your household – you know exactly what I’m talking about.
It’s really a privilege to have a post up at Forbes.com! What an honor. Thanks for stopping by. If you’d like to get a sense of what this blog is all about, please read this post that gives you my story. I hope you’ll come back and visit often. Please get my updates by signing up here. I look forward to getting to know you and thanks again for visiting.
Does the person who earns the most make most financial decisions?
This question came to mind after I read your comments on Monday’s post.
In case you forgot, the post shared the story of a couple who is clawing it’s way out of a deep pool of red ink. They have successfully vaporized a lot of credit card debt (they’ve brought it down from over $75,000 to less than $8,000 in 3 years) which is great. But they way the dealt with their spending and debt left a lot to be desired.
At first, Vic made the financial decisions because he had more time than his wife Jessica (who was busy working her tail off and bringing home most of the money).
But Vic ran their financial ship into the ground. When Jessica discovered this, she took over and that’s the reason the couple is doing so much better now. She was able to save the marriage.
My question is, does the person who earns the most usually sit in the financial captain’s chair in your house?
Over the weekend, my wife and I had a chance to sit down with a good friend of ours. She asked me what I was up to and I told her that I just published Money School for Couples – (re-launched & available today) and she was particularly interested.
(As an aside, a few weeks ago readers told me to be loud and proud about the course I created to help couples get control of their finances and stop fighting and arguing. I am and I’m not shy about telling folks about it if I think it might be helpful to them. For those of you who aren’t familiar with it you can click the link above to learn more.)
While I think Money School is great, I was surprised to see her take such an interest. And I was even more shocked to hear about the financial situation she and her husband were in.
They have been together for over 7 years now. She’s an architect and he’s a professional (struggling) photographer. While it was clear they weren’t swimming in cash, it never occurred to us that they were so financially troubled.
Jessica told us that her financial fiasco started years ago even though she only realized what a predicament she was in late 2006.
Tonight is the first night of Chanukah and it’s a big event at the Pilgrim palace.
My wife looks for any excuse to invite a boat load of people over and tonight we’ll be packed. We don’t make any big fuss about presents – in fact, we don’t even exchange them. But we do really enjoy having our closest friends over and we’re looking forward to it.
In preparation for the holiday, my wife and I went to a lecture last night.
There, we heard two really bright men speak about the meaning of Chanukah. Before I get to their message (which was super powerful and inspiring to us) I want to make sure you know the story behind the holiday.
In 165 BCE, warriors led by Judah Maccabee kicked the tar out of the soldiers of the Greek-Syrian empire who were occupying (and misbehaving) in the Holy Land. Mr. Maccabee got rid of the bad guys and then rededicated the Holy Temple in Jerusalem.
When he did so, he lit a candelabra (known as a menorah). Even though he had very little oil, it actually burned for 8 days according to the story. This is why the holiday is referred to as the “Festival of Lights”.
What has this got to do with a personal finance blog?
Well…I think quite a bit.
You see, Chanukah celebrates the miracles that took place at that time (Judah Maccabee beating the much stronger Greek-Syrian army and the oil that lasted for 8 days when it was only really enough for one day.)
These were indeed miracles. But a very different type of miracle than the “please make it rain and poof…you’ve got a thunderstorm” everyday, run of the mill miracle.
Here’s how:
1. These miracles required action. Somebody had to do something in order for these wonderful events to take place.
2. They took action despite minimal odds of success. They had faith.
3. They had faith and took action despite a high cost of failure because they were doing something for their community – not just themselves.
That was the message I got and it really got me thinking.
If you think about it, miracles are actually inevitable when you take action, have faith and serve others. Right?
I hope you don’t think I’ve had a few too many latkes (traditional Chanukah delicacy of shred potatoes fried in oil) but I really think that when our action incorporate all three elements, we do create miracles – even if we fail to reach our ultimate objective.
Let’s say your goal is to create a healthy cooking blog. You focus on helping others improve their health and you launch the blog despite never having written before.
You may not become a pro blogger in a year – but maybe you’ll change some lives. Maybe you’ll help someone live longer than they otherwise would.
Those are miracles….aren’t they?
So my question to you is, what miracle do you want to manufacture this coming year? Do you believe that if you embrace the three requirements, miracles will manifest? Are there other requirements that I’ve missed? Have you experienced these kinds of miracles yourself?
Here’s the situation. Tim, a blogging buddy of mine is getting grief at home because he rarely helps out with the household duties. Take out the trash? Do the dishes? Nah……
I asked him why he doesn’t chip in.
He explained that he’s got a full-time job working as a technical engineer plus he’s trying to grow his blog into a serious enterprise.
When he gets home from his day job, he works on his blog. Of course before diving in, he plays with the kids. But as soon as they head off to bed, he heads off to blog.
30 minutes of chores means 30 minutes of reduced production. In his opinion, it’s a better business move for him to stay focused on work. He feels that he can simply add more value for the family by writing than by rinsing.
The weekends are bit different. He makes a conscious effort to spend as much time as possible together with the family. But whenever the kids are occupied with other activities, he’s back at the grindstone churning out more posts.
My buddy’s wife also works. Janice puts in her 40 hours a week as a dental assistant. Then she spends the remainder of her waking moments taking care of the family.
Janice understands that Tim is trying to build the blog into something that will help them get out of debt. But she can’t understand why he can’t take 30 minutes a day and help out.
Tim understands his wife’s frustration but feels he has to put everything he has into the blog if it’s going to amount to anything.
Is Tim taking advantage of Janice? I don’t think it would be right to call him lazy – he’s working 90 hours a week.
But is he off base? Should Janice support Tim by doing all the chores? How would you handle this?
If you work 90 hours a week, do you get a hall pass from chores?
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