You’ve seen signs that a financial intervention is called for. Maybe you’ve seen the signs over months or years. 
Your son/friend/brother/cousin spends way more than he earns. Maybe your father wants to retire now but you know he can’t. He’s constantly on the edge. You’ve had to bail him out more times than you can count. He won’t take any advice on getting back on track. The risk he takes with investments is over the top. If he keeps going this way, he’ll go broke. Even worse, he’ll go broke and spend the next four years living on your couch. It’s time to do something.
All jokes aside, if someone you know is spinning out of control you may need to intercede. The question is how?
1. Clarify.
Sometimes, money problems are just a symptom. Bad or good credit score aside, there could be a bigger problem like substance abuse. If there is such a problem, that needs to be addressed first. Call a professional who works with alcohol and substance abuse.
2. Expect resistance.
If you are convinced that the issue is money, you should expect resistance. The fact that everyone except the money abuser sees the problem proves that this person is in denial. Be ready with facts, figures and forecasts. Give them a damage report on the consequences of their behavior. This includes investment statements, credit card bills, bank statements and anything else you can use to build a solid case.
3. Bring friends.
Bringing friends is crucial. It demonstrates that the problem is real and that the person will have lots of support during the process of recovery.
4. Offer a course of action.
Your goal is for the person to start a program of recovery. This can be with experienced professionals or in a 12-step program. The most widely known program is Debtors Anonymous. It deals mostly with overspending but the lessons can be applied to any financial behavior that is out of control.
Main Takeaway
When you decide to stage a financial intervention, your goal is simply to get the person to admit there is a problem and to commit to taking action. Do all your homework and be prepared. But don’t expect miracles or overnight cures. If the subject of the intervention doesn’t want to get better, you can’t do anything it.
With this in mind, I would still recommend that you get professional guidance before you make your approach. There are plenty of good resources to find qualified help.
I need to make a disclaimer and say that I’ve never been involved in a financial intervention. But I’ve seen what works when people are in denial about their money. Have you done a financial intervention? How did it go? What was the result?
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Yep. I was involved in an intervention for my parents. In fact I was the spokesperson. Brought my husband, my brothers, and their wives. And when my parents resisted, the rest of the family (except my husband) caved in, supported my parents and told me to shove it. Fast forward 5 years: my father died of a massive stroke and left my mother in tens of thousands of dollars debt. Guess who is responsible for helping to dig her out?
(And of course, no one in my family even *remembers* the intervention.)
The moral of the story: go ahead and try your intervention. But it won’t work and you’ll lose the relationship to boot.
WHEW….brutal story. I’ve got to believe that you are still better off knowing you did everything you could – even if it wasn’t accepted or appreciated.
Thanks for sharing this.