Since they are unwilling to “suit up and show up” Cindy is going to have to pay the price I suppose.

Wiz,

I am in your camp. I had a similar experience although not out of conscious decision.

Adversity is in fact our great friend. We should embrace it. Having said that, I realize that it’s easier said than done when it’s your own children involved. You were very lucky to have a strong mother.

One of the wisest decisions that my mother made was to get me a summer job at a teenager, working in a factory. I very quickly saw where people ended up when they gave up on life.

Another hard but wise decision was to encourage me to go to a University hundreds of miles from home, even though we lived in London.

Two years out of college I was fired from my employer. They were a small company; I had been there for nine months, and they dumped me on the eve of the annual profit share.

Two months later I went freelance. That was twenty years ago. I have been a Computer Consultant ever since.

The bottom line: “Adversity makes men (or women!), prosperity makes monsters”; We learn from our failures. Unfortunately, I see a lot of parents who are terrified of letting their children fail.

Sometimes the best and hardest thing that a parent can say to their grown child is “NO”.

I fear that you are right.

I don’t think Cindy is going to get it together…why should she? She’s got it made – at least she thinks so.

Her only hope is if her parents start acting treating Cindy like an adult. That means giving her consequences.

Her parents really are not doing their daughter any favors by not requiring more of her, but until they are willing to give her some sort of ultimatum, things are most likely not going to change. Of course, I hope to goodness that I am wrong; the best scenario would be that Cindy herself would decide to start requiring more of herself. She is really putting “living her life” on hold, and is merely “existing” right now, and not really seeming to enjoy her life much the way it sounds.

I have a friend whose younger brother (now in his fifties) is still living at home with his widowed mother. He has a B.A. degree in Psychology from USC, is an attractive, sociable guy with an outstanding education, tons of talent and personality, but because his parents never required more of him in order for him to be allowed to stay at home, he has continued to be a financial drain and a source of embarrassment to the entire family.

I truly hope this is not what Cindy’s future will be; the road to true happiness does NOT lie in taking the path of least resistance in life. Sorry if this sounds harsh; I just hate to think of a talented, educated young woman wasting what should be a very happy, productive, fulfilling time in her life.

The world has a way of letting us know when we need to change directions. Sometimes it’s just a matter of being willing to listen and stop fighting.

I was answering phones & doing software support for accounting software *BARF* – sorry I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

The day I was “let go” I decided to start my own computer business, which I ran very happily & successfully for about 2 years, before dissolving it & landing a job that better suited my personality & skill set.

Firings, layoffs, & most job transitions almost always appear grievous at firts… but in the end usually wind up being some of our best sources of motivation & creativity!

Wiz,
I think you hit the nail on the head….yet again.

Ann,
Well…..you have an excellent point…they asked me for advice and I was honest with them.

Thanks,
Neal

The part of me that has a “thing” for chocolate heard loud and clear that I need to fire it!!! Thanks for the great way to frame this…