5 Practical Steps To Forgiving Yourself For Financial Mistakes
By admin on Apr 2, 2009 in Financial Serentity
Yesterday, I posted an article about the importance of forgiving yourself for past financial blunders. The is great but how do you do it?
My first suggestion is to buy yourself an ice-cream. Believe me, you’ll feel better.
If that doesn’t solve the problem completely, try these 5 steps:
1. Honestly admit the nature and scope of the mistake to at least one other living human being.
I’ve learned that I can either save face or save my…….rear end….but not both. I’m more interested in saving my hide than trying to “look good” for others. If you made a mistake, get it off your chest. Talk to someone about it. This alone will diminish 80% of the shame you carry.
2. Remember that you are not a character on “Heroes”
You’re human. You’re not perfect. If somebody expects you to be perfect that’s their problem and not yours.
3. Have Perspective.
What are the likely results of your error? Are you going to be homeless? Are you going to starve? How badly have you injured yourself? Will this even matter 5 years from now? Have other people made mistakes like these (and worse)?
Besides having less money, how is this mistake going to impact your life? When I finally looked at my real estate mistake this way, I saw that my life wouldn’t be changed all that much either way. It really wasn’t worth beating myself up for.
4. Realize that you did the best you could at the time.
No matter what, remember that you did the best you could at the time. When you made the error, you had certain financial tools, knowledge and emotional skills that resulted in you making the decision you did. Hopefully, now you have better tools, understanding and skills.
5. Document what you did and how you’ll do it differently next time.
Did you spend too much on a home remodel? Did you buy your car without doing research? Did you lend money to your brother thinking he’d actually repay you this time? Whatever the mistake was, write down exactly how you are going to handle situations like these in the future.
This is hard work but well worth it. You know what….buy yourself that ice cream…..you deserve it.
Keep this list of questions and actually write out your answers on a piece of paper. There is something magical that happens when you put pen to paper. The keyboard just doesn’t have that same connection.
Have you got some other tips for us on how to forgive yourself? Have you ever tried these steps personally? What was the result?
If you know someone who hasn’t forgiven themselves for past financial mistakes, please pass this article to them. Life’s too short to suffer for no reason.
Like this article? You will love getting my free brilliant financial updates! No spam, and I won't give your email address to any other person or company.That's a personal promise. Neal Frankle, Certified Financial Planner, Los Angeles, California
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3 Comment(s)
By SJ on Apr 2, 2009 | Reply
Number 4 is great!
If you went back to time with the exact same views and knowledge, you would make the same decision.
Also, doesn’t make sense to keep beating yourself up about it; instead learn andmove forward !
[Reply]
By Neal Frankle on Apr 2, 2009 | Reply
You are so right. Really well said!
[Reply]
By Keith on Apr 2, 2009 | Reply
Hello Neal! I must say this is my favorite line in this article “You’re human. You’re not perfect. If somebody expects you to be perfect that’s their problem and not yours.” That’s gold!
Awesome advice here and I intend to follow what you’ve outlined here so well.
Keep it coming!
[Reply]