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How To Stop Arguing About Money


Do you want to learnhow to stop arguing with your spouse about money?


Do you have an adult relationship with money?

If not, why?

You know what it means to be an adult. Think about your spouse, children and career. Even though you may not have the perfect relationship, at least you know what an adult relationship looks like in these arenas.

But do you know what an adult relationship looks like when it comes to money?

Do you argue about money?

Do you lose sleep over financial concerns?

How often do you worry about money?

Did you know that 30% of us worry about money MOST of the time we’re awake. That’s 90 million Americans walking around like zombies – consumed by financial woe.

When it comes to the sandbox of life, we just don’t play nice with money. I think it’s time for a time out.

Why is money such a problem for us? For one thing, we are hard-wired to worry about money.

What are the most basic elements that money represents? Food and shelter. When we lose money, some little voice inside (from the cave man days) tries to convince us that our very physical survival is at stake. Losing money is therefore intolerable.

It’s scary as hell.

And let’s not forget that we live in a materialistic society. We buy into the game of keeping up with the Jones family. We’re convinced that we’re losers if we don’t have more – or at least as much – as the next money zombie.

It doesn’t matter so much what we have – as long as have more of it. If not, we worry that our children will ridicule us, our spouse will dump us, and our careers will turn to mush.

Since you woke up this morning, have you spent time worrying about money?

If you’re like most people I know, you fall into one of two camps.

The first group is made up of people who let financial fear overcome their lives. Fear controls how they spend (overspending or financial anorexia), budget, and/or invest.

The second group lives under a rock. They are in financial denial. They don’t understand how money works, and they don’t want to.

Which group do you fit into?

Sometimes people fit into both camps. Do you think either of these two approaches are adult or healthy?

They are, in fact, both rather dangerous.

The first group needlessly wastes their lives worrying. They deprive themselves of having a full, happy, joyous and free life – regardless of how much or little money they have.

The second group is kidding themselves. They remind me of a child whistling as he walks past the graveyard at night. These folks are often plenty worried. Deep down, they know they’re flying blind and may be flying into the side of a mountain. The fact that they refuse to look out the window doesn’t make them safe – and they know it.

My premise is that, no matter what, you don’t have to worry about money.

How can I make such a bold statement?

The ultimate solution is in the serenity prayer. It’s short.

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

“Accept the things I can not change” – don’t worry about things you can’t control.

“Change the things I can” – take the time to understand how money works, and implement that knowledge in your financial life. Don’t make financial decisions based on stories you make up or on ignorance.

This is what I will be writing about in this blog.

Specifically, I’ll break this down into 5 areas:

  1. Balance. Let’s look at your relationship with money. What baggage do you have that influences your money behavior? I’ll discuss some very powerful techniques that you can use to identify and neutralize these negative forces.
  2. Worry never helped anybody solve a problem. It saps you of your energy and spirit. I’ll share ideas on how you can banish this dark habit.
  3. Life Priorities. If I were to ask you what the most important things in your life are, you might say family, health, and being happy. But do you live your financial life in manner consistent with your stated values? We’ll talk about how to have a financial life that affirms your life goals.
  4. Alas, when it comes to money, not everything is touchy-feely. At some point, you must be very clear on the relationship between income, expenses and assets. We’ll talk about this issue a great deal.
  5. Along the same lines, I’ll explain how investments and investment advisors work. You’ll have to understand this if you want to have an adult relationship with your dough.

I believe that you can stop worrying about money for good. No matter what. I also believe that unless you deal with each of these 5 areas, you can not have a balanced financial life. That’s a needless shame.

I intend on touching on all these issues. I welcome your comments and questions.

And I wish you happiness and joy in all aspects of your lives.

Like this article? You will love getting my free brilliant financial updates! No spam, and I won't give your email address to any other person or company.That's a personal promise. Neal Frankle, Certified Financial Planner, Los Angeles, California

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